The next 30 years

Today Brian and I celebrate one of those surreal milestones – our 30th wedding anniversary.  Times like this remind me of our old friend, Bill Short, who would talk about the time-space continuum in relationship to God’s work in the world.  Some days it seems like we said our vows last week; other days it seems like we’ve been married forever.  Brian said, “We’ve been married way longer than we were single,” and that is true.  So much water has gone under our bridge!

Here at ACU we celebrate five-year reunions, and that got me thinking about some of those five-year markers in our lives.

1983:  I was almost 21 and Brian was 23 the day we said “I do.” I wore a beautiful borrowed dress; he wore tails (his mother, laughing, said the tails made him look like a roach!).  The air conditioning broke in the church, and our memories of the ceremony revolve around sweaty hands and the sound of box fans in the background…but we were surrounded by those we loved and that was all that mattered. We began our married life together in a one-bedroom apartment in south Grand Prairie.  Brian taught middle school band, and I commuted to north Dallas to work as a computer trainer.  We stayed up late with our friends, went to concerts, burned up money eating out all of the time, and basically had a ball. We learned that jobs don’t last forever, and saving for a rainy day would have been helpful, and yet, family and church and commitment gets you through things you didn’t want to go through.

1988:  This was a period of tremendous highs and tremendous lows. The previous summer Brian’s mother died, bowling us over with unexpected grief.  I grew large (really large) with child and in January we became parents for the first time.  Katie was six weeks old when we celebrated a new mom on the Hahn side, Jan, who brought great joy to Fred and to all of us.  Three years later, Rebekah joined the family.  We learned that parenthood, for us, was a great life-changer, a powerful magnifier.  I believe there was no experience of our married life that altered us more as human beings, challenged us to love more deeply, and forced us to come face to face with our sins and weaknesses.  But, on top of that, what blessing! We are so grateful for our girls.



1993:  We didn’t know it then, but we were on the verge of something big.  The next 12 months would see us leave our hometown and church of 12 years, change jobs, and pack up for Abilene.  In fact, one of our most memorable anniversaries occurred in 1994 on moving day (I say “memorable” as in “terrible” but we lived through it!).  After being separated for three months and selling the house, the stress build-up overflowed.  I remember sitting in the bare living room, eating pizza and watching L.A.P.D. chase O.J. Simpson through the streets of Los Angeles, while we both fumed.  But once again we learned about the faithfulness of God!  We had friends who actually drove with us to Abilene to help unload.  Once here, God provided a church family that loved us and helped raise our kids and has been with us through thick and thin.

It’s funny because the years since moving to Abilene have gone by in a bit of a blur.  School activities, piano lessons, road trips, holidays, births, deaths, baptisms, proms and graduations…this is the stuff and substance of a full life! And, in the midst of all those things, Brian has been right there by my side, steady as a rock, balancing out the crazy up and down that is me.  He is thoughtful (flowers “just because”), helpful (turning in to Chef Fred), fun to be with (movies! monkeys! back roads!) and patient (so many stops for photos!).  There is never a moment that I doubt his deep love for God, our girls, our extended family, and me.  What more could a girl want?

We were both given a great gift – we had parents and grand-parents and great-grandparents who modeled the sacrificial love of godly marriage before us.  For better or for worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and health, victories and stumbles – they’ve walked through these things and shown us the way.

I hope and pray that, by God’s grace, we will live that truth over our next 30 years together. Happy anniversary, Brian - I love you!