An honorable man

I have been blessed to have many wonderful men in my life - a wise and loving father; two grandfathers who spent time with me (even when I was a pesky little twirp); a brother who stuck with me through thick and thin; and I even had the privilege of knowing my great-grandfather up into adulthood.  Then, of course, there is Brian - the love of my life, with whom I will celebrate 29 years of marriage in just a few weeks....but that's a story for another day.

However, with Brian came a free bonus - my father-in-law, Theodore Freddie Hahn, or "Pop," as I liked to call him. Fred was a melting-pot child, the youngest of 13 children born in 1932 to parents of Prussian-Bulgarian-German-Romanian descent. He grew up working hard and playing hard (so many stories of naughtiness!).

Fred and Lavelle Hahn

Fred joined the Air Force on January 14, 1951 at the age of 18. It was a pre-emptive strike against the draft (his draft notice came three days after he was sworn in). He initially received his training in administrative school, but his first big assignment was as a medical technician for the 374th Troop Carrier Group in Korea, picking up wounded personnel from M.A.S.H. units, taking them to Japan, then returning to Korea with supplies. After a couple of years, he returned stateside to lovely (not really) Laughlin AFB in Del Rio, Texas. However, he found beauty in the middle of that desolate place, meeting Lavelle Henrichsen, who would soon become his wife.

He thought life would be better as a civilian, so he got out of the Air Force in 1955, but re-enlisted in Oct. 1956.  Fred did an additional 13-month tour in Korea, and he also worked 12 months in Thailand as an air attache, traveling into Viet Nam, Rangoon, Burma, Vien Tien, Laos and Cambodia. He called it "delivering the mail." All I know is that he was left with a leg wound from a Viet Cong booby trap (pungee stick) and a cloud of sadness that descended every Christmas because of terrible things that happened on that day in that place.

During his 20 years in the Air Force, Fred did administrative work, recruited for the Air Force, inspected units with the Inspector General's Office, and retired as a Master Sergeant. Other than his short-term overseas tours and travel with the IG's office, he and his family (including Kevin and Brian) somehow managed to have assignments that stayed within the great state of Texas. Fred retired from the Air Force on June 30, 1974, and on July 2 began work for the National Guard at Camp Mabry in Austin.  He did 20 years there, too.

Brian, Fred, Lavelle, and Kevin Hahn, early 1980s

Fred in the kitchen on Patton Ave., cooking something delicious!

Jan and Fred with Katie, 1988

Fred was a survivor - he survived injury, hardship, separation from his family, watching his fellow soldiers fall.  At the same time that he served in the U.S. military, there was another life that happened in tandem. Some might call it ordinary. This is a man who drove to Rosenberg every other weekend for what seemed like forever to help his aging in-laws.  He raised two sons to honor their country, to honor their mother, to work hard and serve in the church and do the right thing.  He loved his wife, and then, after enduring the pain of being widowed, loved and cherished his second wife, Jan, with all the energy he could muster. He welcomed me into the family as though I were born into it, and he did the same with Jennifer, Julie, Joel, Sandie, and their families. He reigned supreme in the kitchen, with a level of pre-planning, logistics, and enormous commissary trips that could only come from military training! He finally succumbed to illness in July 2008, teaching us lessons up to the very end.

Was he a perfect man? Absolutely not. But an honorable man? Yes. I am thankful to have known Fred Hahn, to see his mark on the lives of his children and grandchildren, and to pay tribute to him this Memorial Day.

Grandpa Fred with Bekah, 1991

P.S. I have borrowed heavily from a booklet of stories that my mother-in-law, Jan, was finally able to wheedle out of Fred and edit into print form in 1991. It was under her gentle, loving care that he finally shared some of his personal history. She captured his sense of humor and mischievous nature in a way that makes me smile all over again as I read it!  Thank you, Jan, for all you meant to Fred and all you mean to our family.

Tomorrow will be different

I had the privilege on Friday of taking candid photos at the retirement reception of friend and co-worker, Dr. Bruce Evans. Bruce is a wonderful, wise Christian man who has blessed family, friends, schools, churches, and non-profits throughout his career in ways that will only fully be seen in eternity. He and his wife, Jane, have a love story that continues to this day and is a beautiful example of Christian marriage.

As different attendees gave tribute to Bruce, many common themes were expressed.  Bruce is a true Southern gentleman, slow to speak, quick to listen - attributes that have endeared him to friends young and old.  He knows how to laugh and not take himself too seriously (he tells the best planned giving jokes ever!). There's nothing quite so joyful as watching a grown man back his head and laugh with his friends.

But something in particular came up several times. One of Bruce's favorite sayings is, "Tomorrow will be different."  He speaks it in that low, slow drawl of his, and the expression on his face adapts to the context.  When you think about it, that's a profound little sentence. It speaks to change as a fact of life, not to be dreaded, but welcomed. It reminds us to savor every moment of today, because we aren't guaranteed the same moments tomorrow.  It also reminds us when times are hard that there is light at the end of the tunnel - this, too, shall pass.  Sometimes it is spoken with a tear, sometimes with a shake of the head, other times with a grin.

It reminded me of the old hymn, "Hold to God's Unchanging Hand":

Time is filled with swift transition,
Naught of earth unmoved can stand,
Build your hopes on things eternal,
Hold to God’s unchanging hand.

As Bruce retires, he's entering uncharted territory - what will it be like, after all these working years?  I'm thankful for men like him who show us how to build our hopes on things eternal, while holding to God's unchanging hand....because tomorrow will be different. Thankfully God holds tomorrow, too.

Shouting in the darkness

On Sunday, I had the privilege of worshipping with the community at Christ's Church of Joplin. My brother has attended there close to 20 years and plays bass in the worship band. It was one of those Sundays where God so orchestrated the musical word and the spoken word that the core message was hammered home over and over, and it was a theme that resonated with our family. I wish you could have been there with me! Here are just a few things from a rich and full morning.

Let our shout be your anthem,
Your renown fills the skies.
We are here for You,
We are here for You.
Let Your word move in power,
Let what's dead come to life.
We are here for You,
We are here for You.(from "Here For You" by Matt Maher, Matt Redman, Tim Wanstall & Jesse Reeves)

Higher than the mountains that I face
Stronger than the power of the grave
Constant in the trial and the change
One thing remains
One thing remains

Your love never fails, never gives up
Never runs out on me

In death, in life, I'm confident and covered
By the power of Your great love
My debt is paid, there's nothing that can separate
My heart from Your great love(From "One Thing Remains (Love Never Fails)" - by Brian Johnson, Jeremy Riddle, Christa Black Riddle, Bethel Music Publishing 2010)

You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For, "In just a little while, he who is coming will come and will not delay." And, "But my righteous one will live by faith. And I take no pleasure in the one who shrinks back." But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved.(Hebrews 10:37-39)

You stood before my failure
And carried the cross for my shame
My sin weighed up on Your shoulders
My soul now to stand

So what can I say and what can I do
But offer this heart, O God, completely to You?

So I'll walk upon salvation
Your Spirit alive in me
My life to declare Your promise
My soul now to stand

So I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all
I'll stand, my soul, Lord, to you surrendered
All I am is yours  ("The Stand" by Joel Houston)

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39) 

My God is strong enough to raise me from the grave
Your love is great enough to take away my shame
Your mercy reigns

My God is making new the wreckage of my heart
Your hand is reaching down to pull me from the dark

Your mercy reigns, Your mercy covers me
Your grace sustains, Your grace is all I need

Your Spirit is my strength to overcome the past
I set my eyes on You and find a grace that lasts

I'm forgiven, washed inside a love that never lets go
You never let go  ("Mercy Reigns" by Chris Brown, Mark Bock and Wade Joye (2010 Elevation Publishing)

 

Tim Chambers, long-time pastor at Christ's Church, spoke a brief word. He talked about how his marriage to his wife, Mary, was initially an intellectual and emotional decision, but that over time that relationship changed. Then he related that to our first coming to Christ and His church - over time we move from what was once an intellectual or emotional decision, to an interactive relationship where Christ comes among us, speaking words of consolation and reaffirmation. There's a sweetness to it that wasn't there in the beginning. Finally, the main sermon spoke of the question beneath the question of why God allows suffering in the world - does God, or anyone else, really care if I'm hurting? Pain and suffering drives us straight into the arms of the God who suffers with us (Heb. 2:18, among other verses), and it compels Christians to tangibly give comfort, a listening ear, and aid to those who suffer around us.

What I saw happening during my time with Christ's Church was exactly that. I've experienced the same at Minter Lane. Do you have hurts? We are here with you. Are you suffering defeat? Christ is here with you. Consolation, solidarity, re-orientation and re-focus on God's very present help in times of trouble - you can find these things here, in community with strugglers just like you (and me). Together, we shout in the darkness: "I'm confident and covered by the power of your great love!" Amen and amen.

p.s. Dear friends, thank you for your prayers.  You are the hands and feet and loving arms of Jesus to me.

Forgiving the first time

Once upon a time, there was a little girl with curly black hair. She ruled the roost at her house until her baby brother was born, and then she had to share the limelight. Thus began 48 years of scuffles, wrestling, competition, swimming, teasing, music, nieces, nephews, highs and lows. During the early days, squabbles were frequent....but the two always knew that, when push came to shove (and there was a lot of pushing and shoving!), they could count on each other.  Grandparents told the story of correcting the little boy for some misbehavior, and the little girl reminding them that "you shouldn't talk to my brother like that!

The little girl grew up, got married, and had two little girls of her own.  The little boy grew up, too, and moved his dear family out of state. Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays, a time or two in between, with the kids growing like weeds and time passing and peace.

Then came, as the author of The Shack put it, the great sadness. The boy was broken, the girl felt like someone died, and everyone in their family watched in stunned disbelief. Surely someone was to blame! Surely the girl could somehow fix it, could somehow say, "you shouldn't talk to my brother like that!" But she couldn't fix it, and the boy couldn't either. Distance and geography kept it from being quite as real for the girl.....until today.

**********************

You could turn on the TV at any given time of day, or walk through any aisle of the library, and be surrounded with the idea of revenge.  In fact, one of the top-rated shows this season goes by that name. The range of treatments on the subject varies wildly, from reveling in vengeful victory on the one hand, to stories like The Count of Monte Cristo that show the price revenge exacts from all parties involved.

In spite of cautionary tales, most of us are wired to want to hurt those who hurt us.  We might not be able to fix anything, but it might make us feel better if the other person hurts, too. I suppose Cain felt that way when he blew up and killed Abel after stewing in his own juices for a good long while. And while Peter asked about forgiving seventy times seven, in truth it's the first time that's the hardest.

I know forgiveness is a divine quality, modeled by our Father's relationship with his people Israel, and demonstrated to the uttermost on the cross. Forgiveness is something I aspire to in theory, but when it comes right down to it, I don't want to forgive. It feels better to think badly of the other than it does to remember how much God has forgiven me. And now my time is up - I must come face to face with one whom I love dearly but who has hurt another dear one so very much.

A few weeks ago, Albert Acosta preached from John 20, where Jesus entered the locked upper room to join the apostles. He had a word about forgiveness, too - breathing on them and saying, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.” He speaks this word to the men who had abandoned him at his point of greatest need.  Albert talked about the "breath" of creation and how that creation power is present in the act of forgiveness, a divine act. Then he started meddling:

• Unforgiveness is the absence of God.
• Where there is no forgiveness, God is not in control.
• Where we practice forgiveness in the name of Jesus, an act of creation happens all over again.

I can't do this. But God has shown the way. Please pray that He can take me, step by step, to participate in the new creation of forgiveness.

Dandelions on the wind

Taraxacum officinale:  the common dandelion. Sure, some people use the leaves for salads and the flowers to make wine - but around these parts, homeowners wage perpetual war against them. And, since everything is bigger in Texas, that includes dandelions, too!

The very thing that makes us hate them - their ability to propagate profusely by self-seeding - is actually quite a marvel. One seed head can produce up to 400 seeds, and a single plant may produce anywhere from 2,000-12,000 seeds! Each seed rides on a fluffy parachute to its new destination, scattered to the four winds, looking for a piece of earth to begin the seed cycle for itself.

The book of Acts tells us about a scattering that occurred among new believers in Jerusalem that came on the heels of the stoning of Stephen:

On that day a great persecution broke out against the church in Jerusalem, and all except the apostles were scattered throughout Judea and Samaria. Godly men buried Stephen and mourned deeply for him. But Saul began to destroy the church. Going from house to house, he dragged off both men and women and put them in prison. Those who had been scattered preached the word wherever they went. (Acts 8:1b-4 NIV)

I doubt that those Christians felt like seeds on fluffy parachutes! No one wants to be scattered. But think of this band of exiles, taking Jesus and The Way with them! The scattering did what staying home in Jerusalem could have never done, hearkening back to the promise of Acts 1: "...and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

When we moved to Abilene almost 19 years ago, it required a big adjustment for me to get used to a college congregation in a college town. I'm a nester by nature - just give me my spot, my friends, my work, and don't make me change anything up too much. Instead, I had to learn what it was like to be in a congregation where every graduation signaled good-bye to students and faculty who had worked, lived, and loved in our church community. And, every Welcome Week in August, the process started all over again. Over the years, the wise ones among us helped me learn to treasure the gift of friendship, no matter how brief it might be, and to do my best as an ever-older member of that community to help love, nurture, and equip those young ones to go out into the world, carrying a little piece of me and of Minter Lane with them.

Yesterday, we celebrated a tradition at ACU - final chapel of the 2011-12 school year. By this time in May, most students have their required chapel credits completed, so usually that day Moody is half-filled with students who really want to be there. It is always very special. Usually the worship team is comprised of students about to graduate, and it is sweet to see the tears in their eyes as they sing "The Lord Bless You and Keep You" and hug each other. 

As I watched this from my seat, I couldn't help but think of how many students have come and go through our 19 years, and to think with joy about where they are now. Teachers, ministers, scholars, missionaries, scientists, actors, artists, moms, dads, Bible school teachers, attorneys, social workers, doctors, business owners - you name it, they are doing it, they are doing it for the Lord, and they're doing it all around the world. That excites me! They are going places I will never go, reaching people I could never reach, extending the hands and feet of Christ to a hurting world. What a privilege to be part of that, even if only for a moment!

So, whether you're in the class of 2012 or just in a time of scattering for you, hold on tight to that parachute and ride on God's wind to your next destination. The Lord himself goes before you, the Christ community here stands with you, and His purposes lie ahead of you. I can't wait to see how the fruit of your life will be borne on the wind for years to come!